It started with my favorite radio people: Kerry, Bill and Gina (X96 Radio from Hell). They broadcasted one day from the Sunshine Cafe, and sang its praises. There was some mystical granola pancake. I had to go there.
I took my son to the Sunshine cafe about a week later. It was a little tiny place, but it just radiated happiness. It was bright and cheerful. The food was fantastic! I fell in love with meat-lovers hashbrowns. I didn't see the granola pancake on the menu. Maybe it was just something special they made for the radio people.
A few days later, I was headed home from work for lunch and instead found myself at the Sunshine. I was alone, so I sat at the counter. As I was contemplating the bacon burger, in walked a woman with gray curly hair. She sat down next to me and reached over the counter and helped herself to an iced tea. I figured she was going to get in trouble but a few minutes later, one of the cooks yelled, "Mabel you got a perm! Lookin' good!" Mabel was clearly a regular.
I watched in fascination as the whole staff made a fuss over Mabel's perm and asked where her husband was. I was insanely jealous of Mabel. Nobody asked me about my hair or my husband...nevermind that I don't currently have a husband, I do have hair, which they clearly did not care about!
As I left that day a quest began to form. I was going to be like Mabel. I was going to be a regular! At some point in the near future, I would walk in to the Sunshine and they would all say, "Kelly! You've got new shoes again!" I had found my "Cheers."
I took my kids there for breakfast again, hoping for some sign of recognition from the staff that I was becoming a regular. Nothing. But these things take time. Undaunted, I took coworkers there for lunch a few days later. That time, I am pretty sure one of staff gave me a look like, "You have been here before." It was only a matter of time now. I was well on the road to regulardom. I figured at my next visit, they would surely ask my name and pronounce, "You are one of our regulars!" It was coming, I could feel it!
Yesterday, I dragged my friend Brent to the Sunshine. I thought the staff was extra friendly to me and they didn't charge me for my diet coke. I was getting so close! As we were leaving, I noticed a woman with a giant granola pancake. I asked her, "Is that THE granola pancake?" She nodded smugly and said, "It's not on the menu, but the regulars know about it." Damn. Another Mabel.
I am not giving up. I will be a regular. I will order that granola pancake and they will be forced to acknowledge my regularness! (heh.) And you know what? Once I am a regular, I will probably end up being friends with Mabel, and then I can talk her out of that perm.
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You might talk her out of the perm, but I doubt anyone will ever talk you out of the shoes.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, you are not old enough to be a "regular". But if you insist. I've been a waitress and I've had regulars, so here's my advice. Rule #1 - ALWAYS sit in the same place. Rule #2 - COMPLAIN, everyday, about he same thing. Rule #3 - Tell a JOKE. Then tell it everyday (be sure to laugh at it too.) That ought to get you started.
ReplyDeleteTiffany,
ReplyDeleteSo in order to be a regular you have to be old and obnoxious? Maybe I shouldn't aspire to do this. Maybe they secretly hate that Mabel gets her own ice tea and they don't like her perm either. It was ghastly, really.
Maybe Mabel is fiction, maybe a hired actress to come in , setup the hook , bait for the "regular" costumer ;) have not thought of that, did ya! LOL
ReplyDeleteGreat article! I need to know more about the meat-lovers hash browns.
ReplyDelete