For a couple of years now, I have been the owner of Moose, the Shih Tzu. Moose is a house dog whose duties include religiously following me from room to room, scouting for exciting new places to nap, and continuously hoping I will accidentally drop cheese.
The highlight of Moose's day, other than accidentally-dropped cheese, is the W-A-L-K. We have to spell this word because when he hears it, he becomes a Tasmanian Devil and spins himself into a frenzy if you take too long to find your shoes. I am serioulsy afraid he is going to smack into the wall. We only say "W-A-L-K" when we are very, very sure we are ready.
I like the W-A-L-K. I'm a little nosy, so use it as an excuse to check out what all the neighbors are up to. Did you know that there are 15 houses within a mile of mine with big red stars hung over their garages? What's the deal? It's probably a secret code.
The other thing I have noticed is that most of the other dog walking people are idiots. I try to avoid them but sometimes, encounters with idiots are unavoidable.
One kind of idiot are the owners who feel the need to demonstrate that their dog is so well trained that it does not need a leash. These people are smug, I tell you. Their dog is so perfect that it does not even flinch when it sees another dog. It just goes calmly around following all their commands like a stupid doggie robot. OK, so Moose may be over there wrapping himself around a tree because he saw a cat, but at least we are law-abiding, you Smug Smuggersons!
My least favorite form of idiot is the one who thinks that because we both have dogs, we are now friends. These people will ask my dog's breed, his name, his age, my name, where I live, and probably what color of underwear I'm wearing, if I'd let them. OFF YOU GO! If we were friends, you would have gotten a Christmas card.
At the other extreme are the people who act like they are much too far above allowing their dog to interact with mine. I ran into a couple of those the other day. Their Yorkie came running right up to Moose, so I stopped briefly to allow Moose to do the doggy-meet-and-greet. They yanked Yorkie back, and I swear I heard them telling it, "Muffy, we do not socialize with Shih Tzus." I stuck my tongue out at them after they walked past and made a note of where they were going. Maybe I will put a red star on their house later.
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no offense to anyone who owns the red star, but i swear it's a utah mormon thing. That and the "believe" signs I see everywhere in our neighborhood,and this state in general, just makes me have a bad taste in my mouth for anything even related to "americana" decorations. Be original people
ReplyDeleteI don't own a dog, but I do own a star. I spray painted it brown, and it hangs on a wall INSIDE my house. The first thing I thought when I saw a star outside, is that I didn't think that the manufacture intended them to be placed huge and red on the outside of their house. I do think it's a secret code - let's get 20/20 on it right away. You did forget one class of people that you meet on your walk. . .those that avoid you because then their kids beg them for the next hour to have a dog. see ya - ebiffany.
ReplyDeleteRED stars? Your stars are RED? Up here in the north country we have BLUE stars. They probably mean exactly what the red stars mean, only more bluely. A neighbor with a blue star put on a blue roof, and his blue star fell off. Does that mean anything? I'm waiting to see if when he puts it back his roof falls off. And why can't Shih Tzus have American names? "German Shepherd," a good American name, doesn't require a pause between words in mixed company. People always do a double-take at me when I say Shih Tzu. But maybe that's just up here in the north country.
ReplyDeleteI never noticed the Star thing when I was living in Provo, but it sounds like Utah has a case of the "Star Bellied Sneetches" going on. (Yes, my son insists I read that story to him every night). Anyway, about dogs, you are so right about how quirky dog owners are. My least favorite dog owners are the ones who think they can prepare for parenthood by buying a dog. After a while they are convinced that they are qualified to give me parenting tips because they own a dog. No kids, just a dog. Trust me, if my son walked in while I was watching the game and started licking himself, I'm pretty sure I'd turn off the TV and have a chat, but not if I had a dog.
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