The One Where Mothers Know More than Mister Driving Instrutor

Ah, the bestowing of the driver's license. I don't think any of us will ever forget that moment in time when we obtained that little card. That little card meant so much more than the ability to drive a car - it meant that society trusted us. Society had decreed through that little card that we were grown up and responsible and should be allowed to go places and do things.

Guess what? That little card doesn't mean crap to your mother. This may come as a total bummer, but I think the other parents will understand what I mean. Just because you hoodwinked Mister Driving Instructor doesn't mean you can hoodwink me. You see, I have been watching you. While you've had your "learner's permit," I have been pretending to sit there enjoying the scenery, but in reality, I have been watching you like you were the last chocolate in a See's box.

Here's what Mister Driving Instructor doesn't know. You are far more concerned with what music is playing than you are the other cars. And guess what else? I see you visibly shaking and breaking out in a sweat when your cell phone rings. Of course, you won't answer it in front of Mister Driving Instructor, or in front of me, but I see the panic in your eyes...you might be missing SOMETHING IMPORTANT. There might be SOMETHING IMPORTANT about some vampire character and you will never know about it because you are driving with your mother. And you know what else? Just last week I had to remind you not to drive over the curb in front of the nice policeman. Yep, I am on to you. That little card may be in your wallet, but you still have a lot to prove to me. You got that?

On an unrelated note, it looks like we are out of eggs and dog food. And here I was, just about to take a nap. I suppose I could probably trust you just this once...